How to Keep Your New Cat: Start by Getting to Know Them

You did it. You adopted a cat!

You brought home the carrier, the food, the litter, and probably a few toys you absolutely didn’t need but couldn’t resist. Now comes one of the most important parts of adoption: getting to know the cat you actually brought home.

Not the cat you had growing up. Not your last cat. Not the cat your friend has who sleeps on their pillow every night.

Every cat is an individual, and one of the best things you can do during those first days and weeks together is to give your new family member the time, space, and kindness to show you who they are.

My new cat is really scared. What should I do?

Think of it as your cat’s home base, not confinement.

SAFE Haven also recommends avoiding sudden changes during this adjustment period. A new home already brings unfamiliar people, smells, sounds, and routines, so keeping things predictable can help your cat build confidence. Changes to things like food and litter are better made gradually. (SAFE Haven for Cats)

As your cat becomes more relaxed and curious, their world can get bigger.

Why doesn’t my new cat like me?

Not every adoption is love at first sight, and that’s okay. Sometimes the connection is instant. Other times, a cat and their new person need a little while to figure each other out. Your new cat may not immediately cuddle, play, or even seem particularly interested in you. You might find yourself wondering when that special bond will happen.

Neither of you is failing.

Relationships take time, and cats are no different. Permit yourselves to get acquainted slowly, without expecting your new relationship to look like one you’ve had with another pet. Keep showing up with patience, kindness, treats, and plenty of space to be themselves. One day, you may realize the cat who once watched you cautiously from across the room is now waiting for you in their favorite spot.

How can I make friends with my new cat?

Those first few weeks are a wonderful time to notice the little things.

• Which treats make their eyes light up?
• Do they like crunchy toys, wand toys, or little mice?
• Do they prefer chin scratches, cheek rubs, or absolutely no touching right now, thank you very much?
• Notice where they choose to sleep. They might fall in love with the expensive cat bed you purchased. They might decide the cardboard box it arrived in is vastly superior.

This is all useful information.

Cats tell us a lot about what makes them feel comfortable if we give them the opportunity. Learning their preferences helps you build a home where they feel safe and understood. You are going to have some misses and sometimes waste money on toys, treats, and beds that aren’t a good match. But be honest: how big is your return pile from online purchases? Not all things fit.

Spoil them to buy their love.

The beginning of a relationship is not the time to worry that you’re giving your new cat “too much” love. Bring out the good treats. Find the favorite toy. Put a soft blanket in the spot they’ve claimed. Have a play session when they’re feeling energetic. Give them the chin scratches they keep asking for.

You’re learning what your cat associates with good things, and your cat is learning something important, too: You are a person who brings good things.

That doesn’t mean ignoring healthy boundaries or allowing unsafe behavior. It means being generous with positive experiences while your cat is figuring out this strange new place.

It’s taking too long to bond with my new cat; what should I do?

The cat you meet on Day One may not be the cat you know six months later. A cat who hides initially may eventually follow you from room to room. A cat who isn’t interested in toys may suddenly reveal a passionate devotion to one particular feather wand. A cat who isn’t ready for your lap may decide three months later that your lap is now legally their property.

Give them time. That’s important because adjustment doesn’t happen on a universal schedule. Your cat sets the pace.

You don’t have to constantly pet, hold, or entertain your new cat to bond with them. Sometimes, just be with them.

Sit on the floor nearby and read. Answer some emails. Scroll through your phone. Talk quietly to them. Let them watch you without asking anything of them.

If they approach, wonderful. If they don’t, that’s okay too. Your cat isn’t the only one you’re getting to know. They’re getting to know YOU.

They’re learning what your footsteps sound like. They’re discovering your routine. They’re figuring out whether your hands are gentle and whether you respect it when they move away. They’re learning that when you enter the room, nothing scary happens.

Trust can grow during all those seemingly uneventful moments.

Why is my new cat hiding all the time?

Cats need places where they can relax without feeling exposed. A bed, box, cat tree, or other cozy retreat can give a new cat somewhere to decompress. SAFE Haven notes that cat trees can be especially useful because they can provide a safe space while a cat adjusts to a new home. Scratching posts and cardboard scratchers also give cats appropriate places to perform a completely natural cat behavior. (SAFE Haven for Cats)

And remember: your cat gets a vote.

If you imagined their special place being beside the couch but they choose the sunny corner across the room, consider putting something cozy there. You’re learning the geography of their new home, too.

Give them several spots around the house where they can find safe sanctuary. The variety in places to be close but safe might just do the trick.

Why isn't this new cat doing what my last cat did?

Maybe your last cat ran to greet you at the door. Your new cat might disappear under the bed when the doorbell rings.

Maybe your old cat wanted belly rubs. This one may consider touching the belly a serious violation of international law.

Maybe you’ve always had cats who slept in bed with you, loved being picked up, or came running the second they heard the treat bag crinkle. Your new cat might prefer sleeping in a chair across the room, keeping all four paws firmly on the ground and taking 10 minutes to decide whether that treat you’re offering can be trusted.

None of that means anything is wrong. And it doesn’t mean your new cat won’t love you just as much.

One of the easiest things to do when you’ve loved a cat before is to expect the next cat to fill the same space in the same way. But cats aren’t interchangeable. Your last cat had a lifetime of experiences, preferences, quirks, and routines that made them them. Your new cat comes with their own.

So try not to measure this relationship against one you’ve had before. Instead, get curious.

What makes this cat happy? What gets the purr motor going? Is it cheek scratches or chin rubs? A wand toy or a crumpled ball of paper? Crunchy treats or something soft and smelly? Do they want to be on your lap, beside you on the couch, or three feet away where they can enjoy your company without actually admitting they’re enjoying your company?

Pay attention to the little things. Notice where they choose to sleep. Watch how they ask for attention. Learn what makes them playful and what makes them nervous. Discover the special scratching spot that makes them lean their entire body into your hand.

And don’t worry if you don’t know all of this yet. That’s the fun part.

You’re not trying to turn your new cat into the cat you had before. You’re getting the chance to fall in love with a completely new little personality. Give them room to surprise you.

My new cat isn't using the litter box. What should I do?

First: don’t punish them. Your new cat isn’t going outside the litter box to be bad, stubborn, or get back at you. There is usually a reason, and our job is to figure out what they’re trying to tell us.

Start with a little litter-box detective work:

• Make sure they can easily find and reach the box. For a new cat, keeping them in a smaller space at first can make everything, including the litter box, easier to navigate.
• Check the location. Put the box somewhere quiet and low-traffic, away from food and water and noisy appliances like washing machines. Your cat should be able to use it without being bothered by children, dogs, or other cats.
• Try a big, simple box. SAFE Haven recommends a large, low-sided, uncovered litter box for most cats.
• Skip the perfume. Many cats prefer fine-grained, unscented litter without liners or scented additives.
• Keep it clean. Scoop at least once a day. Cats can be very particular about their bathrooms. If you wouldn’t want to use it, your cat probably doesn’t either.
• Have enough boxes. SAFE Haven recommends one litter box per cat, plus one extra, placed in different areas of the home. In a two-cat household, that means three boxes.
• Don’t change everything at once. Your new cat may have a preference for the litter or box they were accustomed to before adoption. Cats generally aren’t big fans of sudden changes, so offer a new litter, box, or location as an additional option rather than immediately taking away the familiar one.
• Clean accidents thoroughly. Use an enzyme odor eliminator and avoid ammonia-based cleaners, which can smell similar to urine and encourage a cat to return to the same spot.

And pay attention to what is happening. Is your cat peeing outside the box but still pooping in it? Are they trying to go frequently? Do they seem uncomfortable? Did they use the box normally and then suddenly stop? Those details can help identify whether you’re dealing with a litter-box preference, stress, or a health concern.

If your cat begins eliminating outside the litter box, SAFE Haven recommends contacting your veterinarian. Urinary problems, constipation, pain, and other medical conditions can cause changes in litter-box habits, so it’s important to rule those out rather than assuming it’s behavioral. (SAFE Haven for Cats)

Most importantly, don’t give up on your cat because of a litter-box problem. These problems can often be solved once you figure out the cause. Be patient with your cat, make a few adjustments, and ask for help when you need it. This is exactly the kind of bump in the road that can feel huge in the moment but doesn’t have to define your life together.

Need More Help? – SAFE Haven dedicated “10 Tips to Ensure Your Cat Uses the Litter Box,” “Introducing Your New Cat to the Litter Box,” and “Step-by-Step Help for Inappropriate Elimination” resources here: SAFE Haven for Cats

My new cat isn’t getting along with my other cats?

You brought home a new cat. You pictured your cats curled up together in a sunny window, grooming each other and becoming best friends. Instead, there’s hissing in the hallway.

Don’t panic. Your cats don’t have to like each other right away.

SAFE Haven’s cat introduction guidance reminds us that we’re asking unrelated cats to suddenly share a home, territory, and resources with someone they didn’t choose. Think about it from your resident cat’s perspective: one day they’re peacefully running the household, and the next day a total stranger moves in and starts using their stuff. A little skepticism is understandable.

And here’s something important: your cats may never become best friends. That’s okay. SAFE Haven describes some cats as close companions who sleep and cuddle together, while others are more like friendly acquaintances who peacefully share a home without becoming buddies. When introducing cats, peaceful coexistence is a perfectly good goal.

If things aren’t going well, slow down.

Don’t force your cats to “work it out.” Instead, back up and try a more gradual introduction:

• Give your new cat their own room. Set them up with their own food, water, litter box, bed, and toys. Let both cats get comfortable without having to interact face-to-face.
• Start with smell, not sight. SAFE Haven recommends swapping scents between the cats. You can rub each cat with a separate sock or washcloth and place that item in the other cat’s space.
• Let them explore each other’s territory separately. Once your new cat is comfortable, switch spaces for short periods so each cat can investigate the other’s smells without the pressure of a meeting.
• Make the other cat predict good things. Try feeding them on opposite sides of a closed door. The smell of that strange new roommate starts showing up at the same time as dinner. That’s a much nicer association.
• Take face-to-face meetings slowly. Keep early interactions controlled and have treats and interactive toys ready to create positive experiences and redirect attention.
• Expect a little cat drama. Some hissing, growling, or swatting can happen during introductions. It doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is doomed.
• Don’t leave them together unsupervised yet. SAFE Haven recommends waiting until you’re confident the animals get along before leaving a new cat alone with other pets.

Most importantly, don’t rush the process because you think your cats should be getting along by now. SAFE Haven’s introduction guide suggests planning on about two weeks for the process, while recognizing that some cats may need considerably longer. Your cats set the timeline, not the calendar.

You also don’t need to judge success by whether you ever get that adorable photo of two cats sleeping in a pile.

Maybe they’ll become best friends. Maybe they’ll play together occasionally. Maybe they’ll eventually develop an agreement that says, You get that end of the couch, I get this one, and we’ll both pretend the other doesn’t exist.