Nobody tells you how angry you’re allowed to be.

There’s a whole industry built around telling you to find the lesson in it, to be grateful for what you still have, to focus on the positive, and most of that lands like a hand over your mouth. Because some days you’re not grateful. Some days you’re furious, and you should be allowed to say so without somebody rushing in to fix your attitude. You’re angry about the career you were building before your body renegotiated the terms. You’re angry that you left your own child’s birthday party early and lay in the car with the seat back while everybody else sang. You’re angry about the friendships that quietly thinned out because you canceled one too many times, and about how you can’t even blame them, which somehow makes it worse. You’re angry at the version of yourself in photos from four years ago who had no idea what was coming and was worried about completely different things. You’re angry that rest isn’t restful anymore because it’s just a thing you’re doing so you can maybe function tomorrow. You’re angry about the money. The trips you didn’t take. The dating you stopped doing because explaining all this to a stranger felt like too much. The dancing. The way you used to be able to just say yes to something without running it through six calculations first. And underneath all of it, you’re grieving somebody you can’t have a funeral for, because she’s still walking around in your body. That anger is not a character flaw and it’s not a sign you’re handling this badly. It’s the appropriate response to losing things that mattered. You can be angry and still be doing the work. You can be angry and still love your life. Both of those things fit in the same person. So say it here if you need to. What are you angry about that you’ve never been able to say out loud? No fixing, no silver linings, no advice. Just say it. We’ll be in the comments with you. #WeAreILLMatic #ChronicIllnessCommunity #BlackWomenWithMS #LupusAwareness #ChronicIllnessGrief