🚨 OFFICIAL STATEMENT / CEASE & DESIST 🚨 Vader the cat is out here spreading pure workplace propaganda, and frankly?

My legal counsel (me) is exhausted. 🙄💅 First of all, his recent “Public Service Announcement” was an unprovoked smear campaign. I am not “causing chaos”—I am single-handedly carrying the facility’s quality-assurance department and optimizing floor-plan ergonomics. If Vader can’t handle a routine peer-to-peer wrestling consultation without filing a dramatic HR grievance, that sounds like a personal bandwidth issue on his part, not mine. 🤷‍♀️📁 As documented in the footage, I have impeccable sit mechanics, profound diplomatic tact, and an executive schedule packed with mandatory hydration breaks and nap-tackles. 🐾✨ You can adopt me solo if you want pure, unadulterated excellence, or package-deal me with Vader if your living room needs top-tier managerial drama on a daily basis. 🥊🛋️ Get your paperwork together and apply at streetpaws.org before someone with actual taste scoops me up. 👑📄 #adoptdontshop #greatergoodcharities #catsvsdogs #adoptablepets #frenemies